Nightmare In Big Sur

Big Sur wrap up:
Saturday, 5:59AM, alarm clock goes off...
Rise at 6:30am...
On the road by 8:10am...
A six-hour drive along the coast…
A sunny, beautiful day with a bit of a nip in the air…
I swear I see some sea lions...
Occasionally the ocean sprays up and over the road…
A times, I am driving high above the surf hanging onto the curves in the road…
It’s a fine day…

I plan to camp at Botchers Gap. I’ve never been there before. I do not know if it is a campground per se, meaning, close to a main road with lots of family bells and whistles (i.e. laundry facilities, playground, showers, store, etc). Based on what I’ve read it could be quite spectacular with only a few campers, pit toilets and a fire pit…, which is what I am in search of…some civilization, but no crowds and definitely NOT a lot of amenities.

Park it at Botchers Gap (north of Big Sur)…eight miles inland on windy roads in the middle of the redwood forest. Out in the middle of nowhere…alone…no dog…no friends…alone…with the exception of one couple and their dog who have pitched a tent just down the trail from mine. She’s pregnant…looks to be any day now. Thank goodness, I am not entirely alone in the woods.

Head back out to the main road (another 8 miles) to a Cliffside restaurant to use their payphone (doing the responsible thing…letting someone know exactly where I am… just in case). Spectacular view from here.

Head back to Botchers Gap and it begins to downpour. Manage to get a fire going to eat dinner consisting of steak kabobs and tomatoes, onions and green peppers. I am drenched. I did not bring any rain gear. I don’t own any for that matter. Well, I finally move it inside the tent by 7pm for the night except for the occasional mad dash to go pee. On one of my mad dashes I notice the other couple has packed up and is leaving...so, now I am ALONE …with my nightmares (and I have some disturbing ones at that. I dream my hair is dreaded and half the dreads keep breaking...I dream I am speaking with Philip and his face appears to have wax drippings and a beard. He reaches up to touch the side of his face and some of the drippings and beard fall off. I mention it to him and ask how this has happened. He tells me there was a woman who enraptured him and she ask that he put Vaseline on his face and set it on fire to prove his love for her…which he did (I believe this dream was as a result of reading a part in a book right before going to sleep where a man married a woman who had a child with another man and she had been a prostitute and a drug dealer - she charged her husband for sex on their honeymoon). The most disturbing dream...an arm reaches into my tent, grabs my leg and says, "check out the program" in the creepiest of voices as they drag me out. It is very vivid…very real...and I awake to find I am still alone with the sounds of the rain, tent flap closed, unable to distinguish one sound from the other out there. Somehow I manage to sleep pretty soundly the rest of the night.

Next morning: I pack it up...
I'm going to find a motel...nope...No Vacancies anywhere...
So, I pick up a young couple trying to hitch hike to Ventura (an hour outside L.A.). I drive south for about 20 miles, decide to head back to Big Sur to camp at a campground. The couple comes with me...my tent is big enough for all 3 of us...which is good 'cause it rains again. At about 5:30pm I take a stroll to the entrance of the park only to pass a creepy guy (dressed in navy blue rain gear carrying a small bundle). Hours later he passes our site still carrying the small bundle. The young couple goes to sleep. I stay up and stoke the fire. About 11pm creepy guy comes quietly strolling along and aims his headlight at our site and me. I flash a light back at him. He strolls past, stops abruptly, and aims his light at me again...he is still carrying his bundle. I decide to go into the tent. He continues to flash his light for about 1/2 hour every so often. There are no rangers to inform…or at least they have not been by in awhile…maybe I’ll head to the front gate…but, by the time I decide to do so I think the guy may be lurking around my car. I decide I’m safer inside the tent with the two hitchhikers and my knife. I plot all of the possible defenses that may become necessary with creepy guy strolling about quietly. If he douses the tent in gasoline and sets it on fire, we will cut our way out with my knife. If he reaches inside, I will slice his hand…and so on. I am just about to fall asleep when I remember my nightmare "check out the program." Was that a premonition? But, I’ve plotted my possible defenses, so I am ready and I can go to sleep now.

Next morning...no sign of creepy guy. We watch the other campers across the way as if they were a regularly scheduled program on television...I'm sure we are obvious in our staring...we have the "I haven't had my cup of coffee yet" glare. But, there is nothing better to watch. We pack up.

I drive them to Ventura. We stop along the way at the Henry Miller Library. We stop and admire the view a few times. We stop and take a hike out to some Cliffside rocks...beauteous. We stop for food. We stop to look at the Elephant Lions and sea lions...we see them mating...fighting...WOW! Oh! Did I mention that I twisted my ankle the night before...threw my knee out the next morning...and awoke with cramps on Tuesday...cranky as all hell and in pain...I am 23 damn it. I am 23 damn it! Deny. Deny. Deny. So, there you have it folks. It was an adventure...to say the least. It was torturous and yet somehow delightful.

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog

Shedding (lyrics only)

Shed light

Shed skin

Shed clothes

For my delight

For survival

For to see

Blind alley

Blind man

Blind spot

In my mirror

In the road

In the night

Washed away

Washed out

Washed clean

From Tide

From time

From the shore

To the sea

To be or not to be

To stand and deliver

Letters from a loved one

Letters from Shakespeare

Letters in a bottle

Cracked open

Cracked sidewalk

Cracked egg

On your face

On which to walk

On the side

Way to go

Way out there

Way out west

You’re dreams come true

You’re so cool

You’re number one

How can you lose

How so

How now brown cow

You’re so much fun

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC

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Foundations & Others

I wrote these back in 7th & 8th grade.


Foundations
(Ring around the roses)
Mountains of the moon
Standing in the blue light

Shattering elaborate dreams
(Pockets full of posies)

Scarlet rains
Stain sidewalks and faces of our children
Wounded freedom etched by violence
(Ashes, ashes)

Memories kept in wooden boxes
Hitler punished the Jews
The city is the burial ground
Buildings are the coffins
The body of a mother,
A friend,
A stranger
Smile, I’ll smile back at you
(We all fall down)

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog
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Crowds mingle
Whispering perspiration
Upon my skin
Glowing dew
Caress with fingertips
Traveling packs
Of men
Of women

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog
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Take your time
With me
My mind (my heart)
Precious as a pearl
Fragile
Crystal
Breaks

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog
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A mask to cover identity
And a smile is but a lie
There are lords and
There are creatures
We are all hidden in disguise

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog
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Hold me tight if you dare so do
You know how I might reply on
Talents such as yours and mine?
Count the numbers one and two ‘til
Ten or twelve on
Full moon’s glow that’s bright and
Sharp like the eagles eye
Spots the mouse from the sky
Across the world
In a field I see a
Painting of you and I.

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog
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Ghost in a sea of misery
Condemned to the life of tragedy
Illusions are all a fantasy
You’re a rebel of today’s society

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog
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We have become loose leaf
Notebook paper scattered about
We are free to fly wherever we wish
Do not crumple loose leaf
Notebook paper and throw it away
For you are crumpling up
My mind and forcing me
To stay imprisoned

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog

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Two beasts made love as children
Young and fresh as the dawn
The wet dew
Comes
From caressing night
Into day

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog

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Our hands create our minds

Copyright © 2009 Alyssa Polacsek, Lakota Films, LLC & Natural Child Blog